Monday, December 07, 2009

I'm on a top secret mission...

Tonight, I shall attempt to take video proof that the light craziness in my neighborhood is spreading like a very slow-moving, blinking swine flu.

The mismatched, unplanned, siezure-inducing nightmare that one neightbor shared last year has spread into his neighbor's yard. Multiple strands of lights with blinking effects, twitching in a festive display of sheer chaos and terror. It's like someone went crazy with a bedazzler on their yards.

Guess I should just be glad they don't diplay an entire gaggle of those blow-up creatures.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Things I remember….

I remember the fear. The dread. The pain. The anger.

I remember feeling crazy. The kind of crazy that you think can only be solved with booze, drugs and therapy. The kind of crazy you think only lives on trashy TV shows and in best-selling books. The kind of crazy that can’t be explained with mere words.

I remember reading e-mails. The words blurring on the page as they choked me (my heart), and beat me (my soul), and screamed at me (my ears).

Kneeling on the floor of my bathroom, puking, heaving, sobbing. Thinking I should mop more often, start a bonfire with his clothes, buy a new toilet brush, act out a Carrie Underwood song, regrout.

The first time it came out of nowhere. The second, I was in constant fear. The third….the fourth….the ones I never knew about? They tore me apart, smoothly and with skill, brick by brick, till there was nothing left but regret.

Mysterious phone calls in call logs. And the voices on the other line when I confronted. So cautious and cocky at the same time. Like they’d won some prize in a discount lottery. “That’s between you and him. Not me.”

I rebuilt this person, who I am today, one brick at a time. The mortar is damp. The foundation still leveling.

I want it to be something beautiful. Something I can be proud of. Real estate not just anyone can afford. And I promised myself no more bulldozers and demolitions. I deserve at least that much.


I wrote this a long time ago. I remembered it today and just felt it needed shared.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Hate on me, hater. Now or later, 'Cuz I'm gonna do me, you'll be mad baby.

A few thoughts for the week that will make no sense to anyone but me, mostly.

1. I think the quantities of Diet Coke I've been ingesting (in the lime twist and cherry varities) in the last few years have finally started to eat a hole in my stomach. There's a reason you can use it to clean the terminals on a car battery. UGH. Must chug antacid. Or, it could be turkey and stuffing overload. Ask again next week. I may need to switch to a high H2O intake for a while.

2. You shouldn't open Pandora's box unless you're 100% certain you can accept what's inside. Once it's open, it's impossible to close. Even the people who didn't have a choice in opening the box can't close it.

3. Wikipedia defines an ethical dilemma as: "a complex situation that will often involve an apparent mental conflict between moral imperatives, in which to obey one would result in transgressing another. This is also called an ethical paradox since in moral philosophy, paradox plays a central role in ethics debates." Some days I envy the dumb, pointless lumps of what could be considered humanity that stumble around without a conscious. But only a teeny tiny bit. Then I wake up and smell the reality.

4. Sometimes you love your relatives very, very much but you still wanna smack them upside the head in hopes that it gives them a a ride on the clue train. You can't help someone who doesn't help themselves. I struggle with trying to remember this - I care, but it's no my problem and I can't fix it. (and shouldn't - it's not really my job)

5. Can someone define normal for me? I think I've forgotten what it should look like.

6. I am still in the process of trying to make myself a better person inside and out. I doubt this process ever ends, but some quality milestones would be nice every now and then. One day at a time. One day at a time.

Hope everyone had a good Turkey Day. I played chef for my family and a few friends, and whipped up a turkey (which took 2 boxes of stock and 2 bottles of beer to make - lush turkey with a drinking problem, I tell ya!), ham, mashed taters, sweet tater casserole, green bean casserole (my own recipe) Michael Symon's fried brussel sprouts, homemade gravy, from-scratch cranberry sauce and lazy people's store bought rolls.

My grandmother, the queen of all pastry, made the pumpkin pies. And I visited my fave baker to pick up a dutch cherry pie. (Great Scott's stickers don't lie - it's bakery you'll dream of!)

It went really well and my house hasn't been this clean in ages.

Monday, November 23, 2009

I want an instruction manual!

And a rules book!

When it comes to men, I don't think I'm totally clueless, but they always find new and surprising ways to confuse/frustrate me.

Why doesn't this get easier as we get older?

This counts for guys you date, are friends with or are related to.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Interesting week....

Quick recap of FFG's life - still in the same job, living in same house and driving same HHR, dated a boy for a year, broke up with the boy (he 100% did me a favor) hit a deer (story for another time - poor Blu!), still bowling, being goofy with friends, trying to lose weight, get healthy and broaden my horizons as a human being. Oh, and I miss blogging and having near-strangers comment on my life. So, here I am. :-)

Now, onto this week -

Last weekend went on a road trip with friends to Columbus. Met a very interesting boy, got to see friend's get re-engaged officially with a very adorable proposal (I videotaped it), had some retail therapy and played in a whirlpool.

Oh, also had dinner at my cheesy fave chain restaurant, O'Charleys. Let's just say Cotton Candy Cosmos are way yummier than originally thought, and wickedly potent.

In general, it was just nice to escape from Cleveland for a bit. I need to go on another road trip soon - or plan a trip to someplace warm in Jan./Feb. (Maybe Vegas, Florida or Cali....?) I miss checking out new places and trying new things.

At work this week, pulled off a very cool project. I helped create a special dancing flash mob for a licensing announcement. I choreographed a short dance, taught it to about 75 employees from across the company and kept it all secret till it was performed at work. It was a lot of fun to shake things up a bit and get our employees excited/cheerful with something out of the ordinary. Now I just have to brainstorm the next big thing...

Looking forward to a four-day weekend next week, filled with turkey, family and possibly some holiday shopping. I have a pretty short list of people to buy for this year, which is nice. Means I can focus a little more and not feel rushed. Hopefully I can find the perfect items.

Still a TON of projects to work on for the house. Hoping I get my act together in the winter months since I won't be as motivated to run around.

To-do list includes:

- finish stripping wallpaper and paint spare bathroom
- paint/recaulk main bathroom
- convert computer room into fitness/dressing room
- finish organizing craft room (It's a scary disaster - so glad it has a door!)
- get carpets cleaned

Also considering one of those 101 in 1001 days lists. If I can come up with enough stuff, I may post that as a New Year's resolution of sorts.

Also have high hopes I will get a call from a local publication about something a bunch of friends and family nominated me for. (Hello, Cleveland Magazine. I'm cute, funny and gosh darn it people like me! And mt birthday's in Feb. How sweet a b-day gift would that be? )

Friday, October 09, 2009

Dating is fun but it sucks, too.

I decided to pull this post. Why? Because it sounded bitter, and I'm really not bitter. I was just frustrated. Just like you shouldn't text or call when you're drunk, you shouldn't post or e-mail when cranky.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Illustration Friday - "Hollow"

This is my contribution to this week's Illustration Friday - "Hollow"

'Cause sometimes mine feels just a little....hollow.

In a cooking mood...

This was awesomely yummy! 1 pita & garlic hummus from Judy's Oasis at Westside Market + 1 slice Garlic Cheese from Fave Westside Market Cheesemonger (Always forget thir name - but they are down by the streudel and fudge vendors) + diced green peppers, peas, red onion, mushrooms & black beans from the salad bar at work, nuked till the cheese melted. It just sounded good today for no reason. Might have to do this again. (Although, it does have side effects - A vampire wouldn't get within a mile of me today. Stinky, stinky...even with brushing teeth and minty gum)

Going to make Ohio City Pasta Papradelle with diced cherry smoked sausage, a splash of EVOO and a variety of diced veggies (red pepper, mushrooms, onion, sugar snap peas, tomato, zucchini) for dinner tonight. Maybe a drizzle of balsamic to finish it, hmmm....

I love going to the Westside Market on the weekends - totally inspires me to cook all week!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dance your ass off! (OMG!)

Current mood: adventurous

I am gonna be a total loser and watch this!

The bald guy, Miles is adorable! And hot damn on that "boom, crack crack boom" move Pinky does. I think my butt would fall on the floor trying to do that.

I could be one of these crazy people, with my danceline background and 8+ years dance training. Oh, they days when I could go from standing to a kick split or from a floor move to standing without thinking about it.


I am *almost* tempted to submit a video for their little contest. A free trip would be fun, but I'm not sure it's worth internet ridicule for being a fat lady flopping around to a beat. (Hello? Next Star Wars kid, I don't think so.) Maybe I could just put their music over the top of old footage....? hmmmmm.....

***shake your money makers!***

I haven't blogged too much lately, so I'm hoping some of you are still out there. Question to test - do you like to dance? (in the shower or living room when vaccuming counts) What music gets your toes tapping?

Somewhat Weekly Observations

Current mood: talkative

Here's a roundup of things that have caught my eye recently...

Interesting article on Is cheating ever deserved?

This article makes me think and bothers me at the same time. I 100% don't think anyone ever deserves to be cheated on. How difficult is it to man up or put on your big girl panties and tell soemone that you're not interested and you want to go off and fiddle around with someone else: emotionally or physically. Please don't give me this "it just happened" BS. We're mostly adults. If crap "just happened" all the time we'd all be dead from not resisting the urge to stick our fingers in a light socket as a kid or eating something poisonous. An excuse is an excuse.

This goes for dating relationships, as well as marriage. Marriage just has an extra layer of "why."

Marriage is a vow between two people in the eyes of God. (and there aren't a lof of things in religion that God requires a vow on) You say you will take a person as your other half for the rest of your life: better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health. It doesn't have a get out quick clause, even thought some may treat it that way. If you're asking someone to marry you or you're saying yes too someone that asks, you should think long and hard, because life may not always be the easy/joyful/lady of plenty and health you are currently experiencing. Life happens, even when you're in love.

I think that people have to learn to respect and love eachother and work on things as a team. Why get married if you're still going to maintain the "I'm an individual and what I do affects no one but me." I guess I always thought the points was building something together. I think the way Kate treated Jon on that show was not always respectful or caring. I don't think that is a reason to cheat, but it was a reason to seek help and work on things. Sad to see instead all the craziness has driven them apart.

(Full disclosure - I was cheated on and that may taint my opinion a bit.)

Fat chick clothes - on the market, off the market?

A few weeks ago I saw an article in the NY times talking about a bunch of retailers dropping their plus size sections in stores and only carrying them online. I was bummed. Now, there's an article saying some stores are getting Plus sections and expanding them. Yay for more fashion choices!

Side note to designers: I'm a BIG girl. I know you've always had this vision of fat ladies in stirrup pants and cheesy mumu's with giant floral patterns on them. Please stop. That crap is nasty. If I wanted to look like a giant walking floral hedge, I'd plant my ass in a garden. Try for some trendy solid colors, and drop this fascination you have with shrubbery shit.

Toledo mayor breaks up fight, calls teen 'fatso'

I commend the guy for breaking up the fight. He didn't have to do anything but sit around and twiddle his thumbs, but was it necessary to call the kid fatso? That comment and others like it, is probably why he's so bitter and ready to scrap in the first place.

Slightly Chubby People Live Longer than Skinny People -

Suck it skinny chicks! Oh, sorry. (no offense nice/normal/non-lookie uppie downie skinny people - ask if you don't know what that means LoL) Got a bit carried away. Now if only I could get down to the "slightly chubby" end of the spectrum, instead of the "where's my harpoon" one... sigh...

Office people going crazy -

These videos are funny to watch but would be scary as hell to live. I do have to wonder why the people stood around and just watched the crazy man at work with a hatchet though. My ass would've ran for the door! Same for the one lady who keeps working while the guy is slamming around his computer. That was the perfect time for a potty break.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Illustration Friday “Craving”

This is my contribution to this week's Illustration Friday - "Craving"

Monday, April 27, 2009


I think I finally know why it takes men less time to get ready than women. It's not the make up and the hair, it's not even the clothes and accessories people can see. It's the underwear. Men only have socks, the occasional undershirt and man panties to worry about. (Note: be prepared for an overshare LoL)

Let's evaluate men's underclothing options.

Socks are easy: 99.9% of them are white. Most guys own a few black pairs for work and dress up (not for mowing the lawn, please!) and that's it. Both options come in different heights, but we don't care which you wear as long as you're not wearing shorts.

Undershirts: Plain white shirts worn under dress or work shirts. I can only guess this is to hide the manly chest hair and keep the pit stains from leeching into the actual shirt. Other than that, someone may need to fill me in.

Undies: If they even wear them, this is the only category where it gets tricky. Most men have 3 style options: boxers, briefs and boxer/briefs. The color choice is predominantly white. (we gals consider ourselves lucky if our man has braved the murky depths of colored underthings. In a perfect world they'd wear black underwear all the time. I'm guessing this would save us a lot of head shaking when doing the laundry. "How did you? What the...?") And boxers can run the gamut - from freebies with beer and soda logos, to cartoons and sports team logos.

Now, with women it's a whole new ballgame. We've got undies, bras, socks/hosiery and sometimes other additional gadgetry to make us look fabulous.

Socks: We like them in colors, and different fabrics, and pantyhose, and knee-highs and with garter belts and fishnets and lines up the back and patterns and textures and some suck us in while others make us look tan.... oi, you get the picture.

Bras: I'm lazy and Wikipedia sums it up for me just fine. The wire vs underwire will be a debate till we die. So will front vs back hookers.

Undies: Men are smart. They go for what's comfy. We, on the other hand, have comfy (briefs, bikinis, hi-cuts, boylegs) and devices of torture (thongs, g-strings, crotchless - seriously, what wear anything?) They can tie on the sides, or lace up the back, they come in a plethora of colors and sometimes they have matching bras. (and you look funny in a plaid bra and polka dot panties...)

Misc.: This is crazy territory. Spanx, ASSets, corsets and bustiers (which may be in two categories at the same time. An undies/bra combo) Smoothing tanks and padded butt enhancers. Cutlets and tape. And I'm sure there's other stuff I've never even heard or seen.

And alotta this crap is hand-washable only. Why???

And women - you know exactly what I'm talking about when I say this. You can deny it all you want but we all do it in some fashion. We have "levels" of underwear. From wear and toss because they're on their last legs (kinda like some guy's everyday undies) to "Date night" ensembles for special occasions. When was the last time you heard a man who thought he was gonna get lucky say "Oh, well I better put the special "date night" underwear on. Pshaw!

The choices can make your head spin. It would be way easier if we had all white socks, all tan panty house, all white bras and undies or all black, and were done with it! But, I guess it wouldn't be half as much fun.

Why this rant now?

1. I bought a new bra. Something called a "plunge" bra. You might assume the name is because it has a deep neckline.... but you would be wrong. It's because it pulls your boobs into something that's mythical, like a unicorn. You've heard of it but never seen it except in the Victoria's Secret catalog. They're fluffed and puffed to the point it looks like someone could dive in and swim around for ages in a pool of cleveage. You know it's a bra made by the devil when your mom sees you wearing it and exclaims "Good lord, have they always been that big?" Ladies, I've found bra nirvana and it's illegal in several states. I strongly reccomend you run out and try one of these on ASAP. Gravity be damned!

2. I had an incident with a new sundress this Saturday while taking the plunge bra for a test spin around the local grocery store. I apparently underestimated the wind and the aerodynamics of my dress. As I stepped out of Blu, the whole darn thing flipped up like I was Marilyn Monroe straddling a street grate. Before I could get the disaster under control a woman stepping out of a massive pick up truck started cracking up (I think she was laughing hard enough she may have peed a little) All I could say to her was "glad I could share my underwear with you today!" (At least they were well-covering and cute "date night" style undies) I'm hoping anyone else within viewing distance was distracted enough by the bountiful bosom they missed the rest of the show.

Moral - there is a reason why your mother always said wear nice underwear, and it wasn't just because you might get in an accident and have your jeans cut off. Oneday, you might just step outta your car and become an unwitting member of the Britney Spears-esque ranks. Oh, wait. She didn't wear any underwear.

Welcome to my world....

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I couldn't resist...

Current mood: mischievous

So....Last week in the news you may have seen that Vince "Shamwow" Shlomi (Famous for being the guy on this commercial: was arrested for smacking a prostitute

What you may not know is he's also been seen recently touting another product in a highly entertaining commercial that could explain the whole debacle. (pay close attention to 0:37 to understand my comment below) -

Apparently she didn't so he took his own advice about getting rid of troubles....

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Weekly observations ('In the News' doesn't cut it)

Oh my lord! There's too much good stuff to share this week. I need to make more regular posts apparently. Trust me, most of these are at least worth a quick clickie-poo. Check

Mind Of Man: Now Playing—Crappy Love Songs

You must read this post for 3 reasons:

1. I can relate to the topic. Certain songs will always make me think of certain moments or people. It's like a switch that gets turned on in my head. Let's call it the soundtrack of my life.

2. This line is hilarious: "I’m amazed my testicles haven’t withered like yesterday’s birthday balloons."

3. Any man who wants to make out to "Glory Box" by Portishead is alright by me. That's a seriously sexy & seductive song. (See the playlist at the bottom of the post if you've never heard it. Cold shower may be required. You've been warned.)

Men's sock subscription service launches in US

Are you kidding me? Guys - for that much money, I will seriously go to Wal-Mart once a month and personally buy you a pack of socks. Hell, for $100 more I'll even pick you up a pack of man panties (boxers, briefs or boxer-briefs. No banana hammocks, please. I don't wanna know). I could be a sock-wife for hire! Pimping myself out to the masses for the moola.

Doctors Say Having Sex Is Like Getting $50,000 Raise

Let's be honest. As soon as you're born, you need money. The whole sex thing is a want, not a need. And it doesn't come into play till you're older and hopefully mature and responsible. A human could live the rest of their lives without nookie, but money is kind of a requirement. That said, am I wrong to say I'd rather have the money? Not that the other isn't nice and doesn't have it's own merits.... but $50,000 a year worth of merits?

When Economy Sours, Tootsie Rolls Soothe Souls

I wonder how much Tootsie paid for that free ad? Wouldn't a more unbiased headline have been "Candies Soothe Soul"? It's true though. Many women have always turned to chocolate and sweets in times of stress. Nice that the rest of the world is finally catching up!

Experts say play time can relieve stress in bad times

Think my neighbors would start talking if I go to the park down the street and played on the swingset? It does sound fun. I'm all for the board games and fun! I miss game nights... sigh

Built-in Whale Tail

What the heck will they think of next? Are you kidding? They should change the jeans brand name to "Skankies."

And since I've assault your reading and listening skills, here's a few images from the news I found fun and beautiful....

Love it! It's an ad duel!

Blackberry shoots Apple:

Apple's response:

When I studied religions in college I always found Buddhism and Hinduism fascinating. Their religious have unique concepts and things like the Holi festival of color are so beautiful (and the people look so happy!):

I think seeing this float by in downtown Cleveland would make me smile, and freak out just a tiny bit:

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Fashion trends from CiCi's

This emergency fashion update brought to you by the fine people who eat at CiCis in Ridge Park Square. Your roving reporter was not able to catch the full effect of the outfit on film, so let us describe:

Hair done, fake nails painted and primped, full makeup, short purple velvet dress, purple faux fur coat (unless there is a very naked, very cold purple rabbit somewhere), purple hose, and a pair of freebie hotel logo slippers in white.

Be sure you hop on this trend now, before you're left in the fashionable dust!

Why we're all crazy...

Have you ever watched a movie and found in entertaining, but slightly uncomfortable at the same time?

Dragged my mom out to see a late showing of “He’s Just Not That Into You” this weekend on Valentine’s Day. Thought a little romantic comedy/chick flick was the perfect this for this unholiest of days for singletons. I may have been slightly mistaken.

I read the book a while back as one of my guilty pleasure chick lit readings, in between serious Bibliophilia ventures. For some reason the book didn’t impact me as much as the movie. This could be for several reasons:

• Current relationship status is different than my status at time of reading the book.

• Live action is more convincing than simple words on a page that must be interpreted by my feeble mind.

• I was in denial.

But before I get too far ahead of myself, let’s examine the movie from a non-emotional state. It’s a very cute movie with good acting and well-timed humor. Highly recommend it for your next night out with the girls. The storyline is fun and there are some great lines in the movie that had people cracking up and nodding their heads in agreement. Eye candy-wise the movie is a winner for both genders. Even though he looks like he needs a cookie, Bradley Cooper is seriously hot; Justin Long is still the geeky girls drool object as a residual from his Mac ads; and even though he’s not my cup of tea, most girls will be happy to see Ben Affleck make his appearances. For the guys, my long-time girl crush Drew Barrymore is cute as ever, but sadly makes far too few appearances. She is joined by my newest girl crush Ginnifer Goodwin. I always liked her in “Big Love” but in this movie she’s so freakin’ adorable it’s disgusting (great hair, fun nail polish). And of course Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly and Scarlett Johansson are classic-looking hotties I cannot imagine any man kicking out of bed.

***Spoilers below this line***

So, why would a funny movie like this make me uncomfortable? As Gigi started her first date recap with coworkers, I choked a little on my Diet Pepsi and had a, “Holy crap, that’s me and my friends” moment. And for the next hour and a half I kept having this odd feeling of dejavu.

When Beth has a discussion with Ben about marriage and he retorts with the “why do you need a piece of paper to justify what we feel/have” I scooted down in my seat and started fiddling with my drink straw. When Janine suddenly cracks over her husband’s lying and infidelity and throws his clothes erratically around the room and smashes a mirror, only to clean up the mess and neatly fold everything, I visibly twitched. And when Mary laments the days of single phone lines and answering machines, and talks about having to view multiple types of technology to get rejected and talks about MySpace being the new booty call, I laughed a knowing laugh and shook my head. I could even relate to Kevin Connolly taking Anna to the house he was thinking of purchasing and telling her he didn’t want to buy it unless he knew she could see herself living there someday, too.

Talk about empathy. At some point in the last few years, I have gone through similar things and felt the same way these fictional characters felt.

Right now I am fully immersed in my Gigi phase. Oh the things I have picked apart and attempted to interpret with my pals. The dialog in the movie could have easily been transcribed from some of my own conversations. (just replace alcohol with coffee or soda) Part of me feels guilty about it and another part feels vindicated because I’m obviously not alone. The gasps and oh craps from women around the theater that night attest to it. It was like an AA meeting where we didn’t have to stand up and confess to know that we’re all guilty and need help. (Big kudos the crazy drunk woman who was very blunt with her outbursts and made the entire theater feel better about theirs)

I know it looks crazy to outsiders because it feels crazy to me, but just like Gigi I’m still hesitant on giving up my inner hopeless romantic.

Why do we do freaking do this? Why do we pump our friends into a rabid frenzy about all things related to the opposite sex? Why do we feel the need to dissect everything? Why can’t things just be, and that’s it. I doubt this changes with age because my friends run the gamut: early 20s thru 50s and we all participate.Doesn't change with relationship status either - there's married folk, divorced folk, single, single and mingling, engaged, committed, just dating, the whole gamut. Even the guy pals are in on it, straight and gay.

As they say in the movie - Are we the exception or the rule?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

immature giggle..

Sorry, I saw this ad and started cracking up. It reminds me of the time we received promotional condom can koozies and hats from Trojan when I was working in the Kent Stater office. Unsupressable childish giggles. :-)

Monday, January 12, 2009

Reflections on my youth, part 1.

Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Life

A conversation on Friday has sparked a whole steaming heap of fresh blog post ideas, so you're all in big trouble now.

For this one, I've busted out good old "dear diary" and some of it's friends as reference. For a visual on Dear Diary, picture a sad little lockable mint green diary with a unicorn on the cover, so full of ticket stubs and little white strips of paper fortune cookie fortunes that the binding is streched to the hilt and the lock will never again function. It looks more like a fanned out paper doorstop than a journal, and it's only four inches high. Every entry was started in the usual fasion "Dear Diary..." It was the first (and probably the tackiest) of many notebooks that have littered my life and been filled with my thoughts, hopes, dreams and desires since I was about 10 years old. If you truly wanted to see the progression of a person from child to woman, the box of these little treasures would be the perfect place to start your study.

I sadly haven't always posessed the same eloquent way with words. My first cursive missives are barely legibile and it pains me to read some of the subject matter that was important to me back then.

Let's take a look at who I was as a reflection after reading some of this fine literary fodder.

I was never a girlie girl. I was tom boy who liked to play rough, get dirty and never wore pink willingly. Because of this, I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to seeing boys as anything more interesting than sparring partners in imaginary battles with space aliens and ninjas. My best friend since kindergarten is a boy. I believe we met because he made me eat sand during inside recess one day. We grew up with only 6 houses in between us. We used to ride our bikes everywhere. I had this awful pink bike with a flowered basket strapped to the front and he always had some cool boy BMX bike thing. In the summers, he'd deliver newspapers and I'd always tag along as company. When we stopped at the local bar, the New Milford Cafe they'd give us PayDay candy bars as a tip and after we were done delivering, we'd go a quarter mile down the road to a little mom and pop gas station called Girton's and load my basket up with Orange Crush in glass bottles, nacho cheese Doritos and stacks of Garbage Pail Kids. I'm sure when they autopsy my body when I die, that most of my innards will be dyed an unnatural shade of orange thanks to this.

He taught me how to play chess and a variety of card games, cheat at Trivial Pursuit, and we used to have marathon phone "conversations" that were mostly him, giving me the play by play on a video game he was beating as I listened and laughed.

I still remember one moment around 4th grade. I was one of the first people in my class to get boobs. Most girl's would be ecstatic. To say i was pissed was an understatement. During one extra rambunctious wrestling match in the middle of my livingroom, he accidentally pinned of of the girls under his elbow and I squealed like a stuck pig. When he asked what was wrong and I told him, he told me to send them back and proceeded to try and kick them back into my chest. (Funny, I think I am the first girl to ever have a guy tell her to send her boobs back LoL) This was the first time I think we truly acknowledged we were different in that way and there was no hiding it.

Even though we don't talk as much nowadays as we did back then, he's one of the people who know me best and probably always will. Eventually kids are cruel to a twosome like ours. They assume you can't just be friends and spend that much time together and not have any hanky panky going on. Because of this, we had a huge blowout and didn't speak for almosty all of our 3-year long middle school career. No offense to him, but kissing him would've been like kissing a toad... Not because he's not a good looking guy, just because he's him, he's like the brother I never had. Yuck! As I once told his mom in the grocery store "I will always love him, just not 'that' way." LoL God, I was melodromatic even as a kid!

Since much of the first installment of the Herbie Diary collection includes info on stupid fights we had and goofy things we did, I thought it best to start with a story about the two of us. This is only one of many....Let's hope he doesn't kill me for it. He's not on blogs, but his sister is. Maybe I can talk her into not telling him. Afterall, she was willing to trade him for a goldfish sometimes just as much as I was. Guess it's good we never found a buyer and there was no eBay back then. ;-)

More to come soon. I'm on a roll...

trying this out...

Current mood: cold
Category: Life

Haven't tried to use the iPhone to post a blog yet, but thought I'd give it a try.

I'm glad it finally stopped snowing. I was beginning to think they'd never plow my road. Living right on the edge of town certainly makes you feel like the forgotten child road-service wise. Stupid snowblower is still evil. Tried getting it to start with no luck, so I gave up and shoveled the drive and sidewalk. I think my arm was sore more from yanking that damn cord than the actual shoveling.

Glad I didn't park in the garage cause the drift in front of it was nasty! It would gave taken quite a lot longer to clean up than the hour It already took. Blah!

The weather also made me wish I had the stack up for the fireplace. Was perfect fireside cuddling weather. Even if I'd only have been cuddling the cats, it still would've been nice. LOL

As much as I'm not a huge fan of the snow, part of me really wants to go sled riding and build a goofy snowman. Figures, perfect powder for skiing and crap for packing on this one. Oh well. I would probably freeze my ass off anyways. This whole older you get, the faster you get cold thing is sucks. I still don't like big puffy winter jackets, but I'd be a Herbcicle without my trusty leather or pea coat. (did i mention my love of scarves? Good thing i knit) And yes, I still occasionally wear flip flops, just not as often. LOL

Hope everyone was safe and warm this weekend.

Thursday, January 08, 2009


Current mood: talkative
Category: Life

Was cleaning photos off the iPhone and almost forgot to share. This is the traditional Herb family New Year's Day meal: homemade sauerkraut (we shred the cabbage and ferment it and can it all by ourselves), pork and mashed potatoes. Stinky, but yum!

Oh, and this movie looks like a fun girls nite out in the making! Love the line, "What are you, a mini-wheat?" LoL Yay for the occasional guilty-pleasure chick flick!

Before I’m 30...

Current mood: vibrant
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I am a list maker. I make lists when I pack for a trip, lists of what I need to do at work, shopping lists, lists of career goal stuff, lists of letters I need to write and places I need to see. You name it, I would probably make a list for it.

I once had a friend who had lists of things they wanted to do before they would hit each decade mark in their life. I thought this was a great idea, so I've kidnapped it. I kinda veered away from my "life list-making" in my early 20s. Guess I just thought it seemed a bit fuddy-duddy. But about two years ago I decided 30 was on the horizon and I needed to get cracking on a list, no matter how short.

I won't lie. This list has changed a little bit. A few things were added and a few removed, but I am in general happy with the result. It's not long because I procrastinated, but I've already started the list of things to do before 40! LoL I do wish I had started sooner and given it more thought though...

Here's what I decided to accomplish before Feb. 24 of this year:

1. Buy a house - Done....This was always on my list of things to do in my head, and I did it before I even wrote the official list. Sadly, now all I wanna do is sell the house and find a new one. LoL Go figure.
2. Learn to twirl fire poi - Done.... I may not be great at it, but I haven't set myself on fire yet! (knock on wood)
3. Breathe fire - In progress....I have been practicing the spitting of the water, the flammable liquid and have made the wick stick. I've consulted with flair bartenders on safety issues and taken an online training course, but I still have yet to do this. I need a calm day with absolutely no breeze, a few friends with safety equipment and I have to get up my nerve. I'm kinda partial to my face, hair, eyebrows and the lining of my lungs. I will do this soon, but only once! I admit, I am afraid I'll get all excited when I actually do it and suck back air, which is a big no-no.
4. Learn a new craft - Done.... I started fiddling with polymer clay when I first made the list and I've gotten pretty good at make useless crap with it.
5. Get a tattoo - In progress....My grandmother remembered me saying that I wanted to do this and has gifted me with one for Christmas. I'll be going to get it this month! (Did I mention I hate needles?) When it's all done I'll take a pic and post it, otherwise you'll never see it as it'll be well hidden and corporate-appropriate.
6. Support a new charity every month for a year - Done.... Last year I picked a different organization each month and did something for them. Donated money, time, supplies, attended events)
7. Kiss someone new - Done.... please don't judge me too much. This was a late addition. Admittedly after being with the same person for 6 years, and getting cheated on in spectacular, Jerry-Springeresque fashion, I decided I needed to take action and do something and after all that this seemed about as rebellious as I was ready to go for the moment. I think it just reminded me there are other fish in the sea and hello? kissing is fun! Kinda cheesy and lame, but whatever. Did I mention kissing is fun? (see past post with mention of how I spent my 29th birthday and you'll know how I scratched this one off the list LoL) I think it should be a rule you get kisses on every birthday! LoL I woulda left this off the list and not told you, but I am trying to be full-disclosure so that wouldn't be quite fair.
8. Find and buy knee-high leather boots - Done... I love, love, love knee high boots. I think they are super duper hot and I've always wanted a pair. But, since I am blessed with giant calves and they tend to be kind of expensive, I thought I'd never get a pair. I actually bought two pair - one in brown and one in black. And they were on sale. Go me!
9. Learn to play guitar - Postponed.... I decided to hold this one off till the 40th list as I was lazy and didn't do much of anything towards accomplishing it, other than having Dan re-string and tune my guitar for me. It's just a crappy little acoustic, but it's my crappy little acoustic! (Thanks, Dan!)
10. Figure out who my dad was - Doubtful to ever happen......This will probably never get crossed off my list, but I'm stubborn. I'm putting it on every list till I die. It was what I asked for on my 18th birthday, as a graduation gift from college and as a wedding present if I ever get married. Maybe at some point my mother will give in and give me his last name. I doubt it though. Sigh.... I'll tell this story another day. Just not in the mood to elaborate right now.

After my birthday, I'll post the list for 40. It'll be kinda fun giving online play-by-plays on the status I think. Till then, I'm still tweaking.

Anyone else make lists? Humor me - let me know 3 things you want to accomplish before you hit your next decade mark! Yes, this means ALL of you! No fair reading and not sharing. :-P

I didn’t grow up there, but I went to school there.

Current mood: nostalgic

I saw this list and it made me chuckle, so I had to share. My edits are in bold. Fun times in Kent, fun times...

You know you are from Kent, OH when...

- seeing a black squirrel is an everyday occurence (and they eat chicken wings from the garbage. I am almost ashamed to admit it, and disturbed that they are still online, but read more on this from one of my Opinion columns from the Kent Stater. yes, they actually allowed me to write and it was published. I even was nominated for a Hearst Journalism Award! Not for this story though. I was more fluff than substance, trust me. LoL )

- there is nothing to do downtown unless you're at least 18

- there are more tatoo/piercing parlors and bars downtown than actual shops

- you will never go more than a month into the summer without seeing 3/4 of your school's population because the entire town goes to Kent Fest.

- you won't drink water from the tap outside of the city limits because you know Kent has the best water on the planet (I don't agree with this. I am a well water girl. City water makes me gag. This is why I have a fridge with a water filter/dispenser)

-someone asks you where the rec center is and you direct them to the one on Franklin Ave. because what they're really thinking of (on the KSU campus) is more commonly known as the wellness center

- you mourned the loss of the Loft

- you have visited 'the tower' (he he he......)

- you know where half of your teachers live

- ravens are for burning (Or kangaroos)

- you're on a first-name basis with your high school principal

- you are praying for the day that Steak n Shake is actually in Kent (not really)

-Brimtucky is a real place (This is true of Rootstown folk as well)

-You are offended if someone says you're from Ravenna (So wrong, but so true!)

-You skipped a class to go to Swenson's

-FU Bob is a family friend (Actually, I insulted him in the newspaper, too. I'm not proud of that one so I am not linking to it. A careful googler could find it though. I was a freshman, what did you expect?)

-by "the beach", you mean a tiny man made patch of sand on Twin Lakes

-You know the Kent State campus better than most of the college students (I was a college student. Hello?)

-popcorn coming in 32 flavors is normal

-Katie's Korner does not involve prostitution, only ice cream (That's some serious yumminess)

-Guido's does not just deal pizza... (I only know of pizza, chicken and jo jo's. Did I miss something??)

-You have attended either a Sweetheart, Farsight, Annabel, or Starcrossed show.

-You remember when Starbucks used to be Brady's Cafe (I prefered Brady's. Cheap breakfast, open after I got off my 3rd shift job at Kinko's across the street and they didn't care if you loitered for hours gabbing)

-You can quote graffitti under the bridge at River Front Park

-you can't walk from one side of Kent's campus to the other without knowing somebody, be it a student, a teacher, a staff worker, or some random "townie". (I can't enter portage County without running into someone I know!)

-you go downtown on Sunday nights for the anti-war protest...and everyone there looks ripped straight out of 1969.

-it can be 70 degrees and sunny one day, then 30 and snowing the next and you don't think anything of it

-you know what "Moon Glo" is and no it's nothing like "Moon Shine"

-you know who "Stow Hoes" are and where "Silver Ghettos" is

-90% of your senior class went to Kent State

-you show your friends from out of town it usually ends with them saying "that was it?"

-If your own parent(s) don't work at KSU, you know at least 5 people whose parents do.

-you drive by that building on 43 and wonder what buisness will fail there next, joining the likes of Hills, Ames, and Tops. (LMAO You forgot Gold Circle and I think Big Wheel and Woolworth's, too. That building is cursed, I swear.)

-you take 15 minutes to go down Main Street because you hit EVERY RED LIGHT.

-You actually believe Silver Meadows is a ghetto.

-People on Campus think it was cool that you went to school in Kent all your life, and you think the exact opposite.

-when people say they don't know where Kent is when you tell them where you are from you reply "the city where Kent State is" and are annoyed when they then are even more annoyed when they ask you one of two questions "The place where the shootings happened in the 70's?" or "why didnt you go to Kent State?" - if you go to school out of town... (Ok, I went to school in Germany and even THEY know it as the school where there were shootings.)

-when you've almost run over Wheelchair George (always rockin the cowboy boots) while crossing the Main Street Bridge despite his rotating "handicapped" sign sticking out of his ride.

-You remember Mrs. B from the Kent Free Library.

-you remember when the Taco Bell drive thru had a PHONE!! (So gross... If only we'd had Purell back then!)

-the line at Chipotle is significantly shorter during Christmas vacation and summer (because the KSU students have gone home

-expressing yourself on large rocks is perfectly normal (I painted the rock twice in my college career. Did you get to paint a rock? Didn't think so!)

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Your help needed: I am DESPERATE for a song....

Current mood: frustrated

I love music. For most of my life I had this notion that someday what I would be when I grew up would somehow involve it. Sadly, this is not the case. To make up for this, I listen to music like it is my crack. Sweet, sweet audio crack. I will give almost anything a listen at least once. My tastes are eclectic enough to freak out anyone who's borrowed my iPod and placed it on shuffle. Not many people mix redneck country, Christian contemporary, classical, jazz, pop, 70s/80s/90s and today, a little rap and hardcore rock in one place.

Because I get tunes stuck in my head, I get cranky when I hear something on a TV show, fall in love with it and then cannot find out what it is or who sings it. The internet has helped a lot with this and my iPhone has the Shazam song recognition app (Which rocks my socks off and makes me extremely giddy) But I have now found one that stumps them both and it's driving me crazy! Alas, my technology has let me down...

So, I am placing a bounty on a specific MP3. I am in dire need of a song that's been stuck in my head since I watched a recent episode of Skins on BBC. (Series 2, episode 9 - end of show where Cassie is crying and runs through NY - fabulous show if you haven't seen it yet. Typical edgy Brit humor and content) From what I've found online looks like the name of the song is "My Town, My City" but I still have no clue who wrote or performs it. Just know it's stuck in my head and I want to find it!

It is not Adele's "Hometown" as is incorrectly noted online. That was the song used when the show originally aired on BBC. The BBC America DVD version uses this new mystery song.

I am willing to award the finder of this song an edible reward. Dinner out as thanks! Help!?!?!?!?

I found a clip of it on YouTube: (the images have nothing to do with it, it's not Amy or Evanescence)


Turning my memories
Hoping to find out
where all the loyalty's gone
The friends that I had then
Turned into strangers
Thinking of you all alone
If you see me know
You won't see me alone
If you see me
I'll be heading home
Cos this is my town
This is my city
Through my eyes it looks so pretty
This is my town, this is my city now
These are my people, this is my song
Dirty streets where I belong
This is my town, this is my city now
This is my city now
This is my city
Through my eyes it looks so pretty
This is my town ,this is my city now
These are my people , this is my song
Dirty streets where I belong
This is my town, this is my city now
This is my city now
My City

Since I have over 2,000 views....

Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Quiz/Survey

I need to get back into the habit of blogging. It makes me a better writer and I think it's my own little version of therapy. LoL And I kinda like the attention! (2002 views and counting, oh yeah!) I'm starting 2009 off slow with one of those cheesy surveys. Then on to some of the items discussed in my previous blog. :-)

Come on people, I loooove comments! Let me know how you rang in the New Year after you read this!


Lost a friend?
Not because they died, but yes.

Stayed single almost the whole year?
Umm.... kinda? Does dating count as not single? It's kinda 50/50 I guess.

Kissed someone new?
Yes someone brand new and someone from the past that's new to this decade. (as far back in my kissing past as I can go, actually) LoL

Had your heart broken?
Not this year!

Had a stalker?
I had an ex leave love notes at my house, send roses to my work (Which I refused delivery of - I am such a beotch!) and various other creepy and unwanted things... It sure felt uncomfortable for a while, but hardly stalker-ish. Glad it's over though.

Done something you've regretted?

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
I think and hope so.

Visited a different country?
No. (need to change that)

Lost something/someone important to you?
Does my mind count?

Got a gift you adore?
Yep! (it's my faithful companion, the iPhone! I can admit to being swayed by shiny gadgets)

Dyed your hair?
Hell, I've done that every year since 8th grade.

Did you break up with anyone?
Kinda, if you consider what we did dating.

Did you get anything for Valentine's day?

Did you meet anyone special?
Re-met them, actually. There are a few of these cool kinda people back in my life! Facebook and MySpace ROCK!

Did you meet any new friends this year?
Yes, some very cool people I kinda knew and just had never talked to much before and a few brand-new people.

Did you dislike anyone?
I can't lie, I'm only human. Hell yes. And if thoughts could kill, they'd be pushing daisies.

Did you make any new enemies?
I like to think I'm not the kind of person who incites hate or anger in people. Hello? Have you met me? ;-)

Did you resolve any fights?

Who are your closest friends?
My mom (don't laugh, she is!), JDub, Tater Tot, my bowling girls, Daniel

Did you grow apart from anyone?
Yeah, but we can grow back again, too.

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
I wish we had more time together. We all need time management classes (and internet connections! LoL)

How was your birthday?
Crazy. I think they whole turning 29 thing freaked me out more than I wanted to admit, so I went a little crazy with the shots, the dorky behavior and the sucking face with inappropriate boys. Not my proudest moment, but it was fun at the time. I guess I was making up for the fact that my 21st was so calm.

Did you have a cake?
I had delicious cupcakes made by Tater Tot.

Did you have a party?
A bunch of crazy people crashed my cousin's house for a night of debauchery, glow sticks, Polaroid pics, drunken board games and movies. (And anatomically correct play dough sculptures, if my mind serves me correctly) I think I need to burn some of the Polaroids as part of the 30th festivities. LoL

Did you get any presents?
Yep. :-)

Did you change at all this year?
I think I finally got some of the wildness outta my system that I'd been bottling up. I also learned a lot about myself and think I grew up a bit. I've always considered myself mature, but I think I needed to act like an ass for a bit to remind myself that normal me is pretty damn fun and ok. I don't need to try so hard. being a nerd who's happy with herself is a-ok.

Did you get your hair cut?
My usual layers

Did you change your style?
trying to dress more my age.

Were you in school?
No classes this year.

Did you go on any vacations?
Nope. Stayed at home and was a bum on my day's off. LoL

Would you change anything about yourself now?
I might get rid of a few of the scars of the past if I could. I still have a bit of growing and changing and becoming more self-confident and patient to work on. And maybe I need to worry a little less and live a little more. (but in more sensible ways LoL)

Was 2008 a good year?
Not too bad...

Do you think 2009 will top 2008?
Sure, no reason not to be optimistic!


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