Friday, November 21, 2008

Ho Ho Holidays....

Current mood: animated
Category: Life

Ok. Let me start off by saying I am not a Scrooge.

Christmas is not my 1 holiday, but that's probably because the real meaning behind it has been lost in the shuffle of consumerism (that I participate in along with everyone else, and which fuels my paycheck, so I cannot bitch too loudly)

It also because we went through a bit of a Christmas drought after my grandfather died. There were no trees or decorations and there was much temporary bah humbugness (for like 10 years....)

But, I do enjoy the holiday. I love getting things for my family and friends. (there's a thrill in the hunt for something that perfectly fits their personality or needs), I like helping others and enjoy the volunteer stuff I can do, I like pulling out the ornaments and decor that has memories associates with it. (The ornaments made as a kid, the grandfather nativity) I love baking, looking at *tasteful* light displays, drinking cocoa, singing carols and just general jolliness....

But the whole decorate and start shoving stuff down my throat before Thanksgiving is a bit much for me. And gaudy, over the top, blinking nightmares make me twitch.

There are a few people in my neighborhood that get wayyy too into the "crap in my yard" festivities.

One person has so much mismatched stuff it looks like the yard sale where Christmas decorations go to die. Old school giant plastic candles and candy canes are mixed in with giant blow-up bohemouth snowmen, carousel snowglobes, reindeer, toy soldiers and Grinch's. Santa is crawling up the side of the house on an animated light ladder with an elf and a pile of presents, while he's also on the ground driving the sleigh, which is pulled by like 10 tiny, awful, blinking reindeer. And there's a light-up train. And the whole thing is surrounded by technicolor draped shrubbery and corkscrew Christmas trees in unnatural colors.

And this week, one guy put so many blinking, chasing, strobbing lights in his front yard it looks like a landing strip for jet arliners. Most of them are blue, and none of the coordinate with the blinking. GAH!!! Here, let me add a technicolor pile of fresh barf to the front yard to accent the entire fiasco. Can we at least work on a theme, other than "burn out my neighbor's retinas?"

I have to admit, I am glad the one neighbor right next door to me got foreclosed on and moved as I may have popped my lid and gone nutty fruitcake on them this year. At the after Christmas sale last year they bought one of those blow up carousel snowglobes.... but theirs was the "deluxe" version. It also played music. Loudly. On repeat. Same damn carol over, and over, and over. I seriously wanted to turn that thing into an oversized punching back. her husband got wise after a few glaring looks when I came home and took the stupid things own after a few days. "holidays are over honey...." Do we see the irony in the fact that they could not pay their rent/mortgage and lost their home, they complained in front of their kids that there was no money for presents that year, but they had money to blow on an expensive piece of plastic crap? yes, it was on sale, but it still had to cost quite a bit. Hope that snowglobe doubles as a comfy tent for 5, plus 3 dogs. I try not to judge, but sometimes people make it VERY difficult. (did I mention they also beat their dogs.... and verbally abused their kids? And I'm not even bringing up the damn treehouse they built with windows that overlooked my privacy fence, providing HOURS of entertainment for me as I tried to relax in the pool in my backyard, or grill out or do yardwork in peace. Oh, damn. I did bring it up.... Oh yes... they were lovely.)

~deep breath. end rant.~

I already started Christmas shopping and next weekend I'll bust out some decorations and baking stuff. Till then, I'll just chill in my little "fall/thanksgiving" world. :-)

To prove I am not scroogie, what is the one thing you are most looking forward to this holiday season (Turkey day through New Year's)? Comment below!


soar like an osprey said...

Now that's exactly what I mean about making me laugh!
You're too funny. ;)


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