Friday, October 09, 2009

Dating is fun but it sucks, too.

I decided to pull this post. Why? Because it sounded bitter, and I'm really not bitter. I was just frustrated. Just like you shouldn't text or call when you're drunk, you shouldn't post or e-mail when cranky.

Thanks...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Illustration Friday - "Hollow"




This is my contribution to this week's Illustration Friday - "Hollow"

'Cause sometimes mine feels just a little....hollow.

In a cooking mood...


This was awesomely yummy! 1 pita & garlic hummus from Judy's Oasis at Westside Market + 1 slice Garlic Cheese from Fave Westside Market Cheesemonger (Always forget thir name - but they are down by the streudel and fudge vendors) + diced green peppers, peas, red onion, mushrooms & black beans from the salad bar at work, nuked till the cheese melted. It just sounded good today for no reason. Might have to do this again. (Although, it does have side effects - A vampire wouldn't get within a mile of me today. Stinky, stinky...even with brushing teeth and minty gum)

Going to make Ohio City Pasta Papradelle with diced cherry smoked sausage, a splash of EVOO and a variety of diced veggies (red pepper, mushrooms, onion, sugar snap peas, tomato, zucchini) for dinner tonight. Maybe a drizzle of balsamic to finish it, hmmm....

I love going to the Westside Market on the weekends - totally inspires me to cook all week!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dance your ass off! (OMG!)

Current mood: adventurous

I am gonna be a total loser and watch this!

The bald guy, Miles is adorable! And hot damn on that "boom, crack crack boom" move Pinky does. I think my butt would fall on the floor trying to do that.

http://www.oxygen.com/dance/?affiliate=MySpace_DYAO

I could be one of these crazy people, with my danceline background and 8+ years dance training. Oh, they days when I could go from standing to a kick split or from a floor move to standing without thinking about it.

Oi....

I am *almost* tempted to submit a video for their little contest. A free trip would be fun, but I'm not sure it's worth internet ridicule for being a fat lady flopping around to a beat. (Hello? Next Star Wars kid, I don't think so.) Maybe I could just put their music over the top of old footage....? hmmmmm.....

***shake your money makers!***

I haven't blogged too much lately, so I'm hoping some of you are still out there. Question to test - do you like to dance? (in the shower or living room when vaccuming counts) What music gets your toes tapping?

Somewhat Weekly Observations

Current mood: talkative

Here's a roundup of things that have caught my eye recently...

Interesting article on CNN.com: Is cheating ever deserved? http://bit.ly/10d03N

This article makes me think and bothers me at the same time. I 100% don't think anyone ever deserves to be cheated on. How difficult is it to man up or put on your big girl panties and tell soemone that you're not interested and you want to go off and fiddle around with someone else: emotionally or physically. Please don't give me this "it just happened" BS. We're mostly adults. If crap "just happened" all the time we'd all be dead from not resisting the urge to stick our fingers in a light socket as a kid or eating something poisonous. An excuse is an excuse.

This goes for dating relationships, as well as marriage. Marriage just has an extra layer of "why."

Marriage is a vow between two people in the eyes of God. (and there aren't a lof of things in religion that God requires a vow on) You say you will take a person as your other half for the rest of your life: better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health. It doesn't have a get out quick clause, even thought some may treat it that way. If you're asking someone to marry you or you're saying yes too someone that asks, you should think long and hard, because life may not always be the easy/joyful/lady of plenty and health you are currently experiencing. Life happens, even when you're in love.

I think that people have to learn to respect and love eachother and work on things as a team. Why get married if you're still going to maintain the "I'm an individual and what I do affects no one but me." I guess I always thought the points was building something together. I think the way Kate treated Jon on that show was not always respectful or caring. I don't think that is a reason to cheat, but it was a reason to seek help and work on things. Sad to see instead all the craziness has driven them apart.


(Full disclosure - I was cheated on and that may taint my opinion a bit.)

Fat chick clothes - on the market, off the market? http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/18/fashion/18plus.html

A few weeks ago I saw an article in the NY times talking about a bunch of retailers dropping their plus size sections in stores and only carrying them online. I was bummed. Now, there's an article saying some stores are getting Plus sections and expanding them. Yay for more fashion choices!

Side note to designers: I'm a BIG girl. I know you've always had this vision of fat ladies in stirrup pants and cheesy mumu's with giant floral patterns on them. Please stop. That crap is nasty. If I wanted to look like a giant walking floral hedge, I'd plant my ass in a garden. Try for some trendy solid colors, and drop this fascination you have with shrubbery shit.

Toledo mayor breaks up fight, calls teen 'fatso' http://www.ohio.com/news/break_news/48526277.html

I commend the guy for breaking up the fight. He didn't have to do anything but sit around and twiddle his thumbs, but was it necessary to call the kid fatso? That comment and others like it, is probably why he's so bitter and ready to scrap in the first place.

Slightly Chubby People Live Longer than Skinny People - http://www.clevelandleader.com/node/10367

Suck it skinny chicks! Oh, sorry. (no offense nice/normal/non-lookie uppie downie skinny people - ask if you don't know what that means LoL) Got a bit carried away. Now if only I could get down to the "slightly chubby" end of the spectrum, instead of the "where's my harpoon" one... sigh...

Office people going crazy - http://tr.im/ppbq

These videos are funny to watch but would be scary as hell to live. I do have to wonder why the people stood around and just watched the crazy man at work with a hatchet though. My ass would've ran for the door! Same for the one lady who keeps working while the guy is slamming around his computer. That was the perfect time for a potty break.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Illustration Friday “Craving”



This is my contribution to this week's Illustration Friday - "Craving"

Monday, April 27, 2009

unmentionables...

I think I finally know why it takes men less time to get ready than women. It's not the make up and the hair, it's not even the clothes and accessories people can see. It's the underwear. Men only have socks, the occasional undershirt and man panties to worry about. (Note: be prepared for an overshare LoL)

Let's evaluate men's underclothing options.

Socks are easy: 99.9% of them are white. Most guys own a few black pairs for work and dress up (not for mowing the lawn, please!) and that's it. Both options come in different heights, but we don't care which you wear as long as you're not wearing shorts.

Undershirts: Plain white shirts worn under dress or work shirts. I can only guess this is to hide the manly chest hair and keep the pit stains from leeching into the actual shirt. Other than that, someone may need to fill me in.

Undies: If they even wear them, this is the only category where it gets tricky. Most men have 3 style options: boxers, briefs and boxer/briefs. The color choice is predominantly white. (we gals consider ourselves lucky if our man has braved the murky depths of colored underthings. In a perfect world they'd wear black underwear all the time. I'm guessing this would save us a lot of head shaking when doing the laundry. "How did you? What the...?") And boxers can run the gamut - from freebies with beer and soda logos, to cartoons and sports team logos.

Now, with women it's a whole new ballgame. We've got undies, bras, socks/hosiery and sometimes other additional gadgetry to make us look fabulous.

Socks: We like them in colors, and different fabrics, and pantyhose, and knee-highs and with garter belts and fishnets and lines up the back and patterns and textures and some suck us in while others make us look tan.... oi, you get the picture.

Bras: I'm lazy and Wikipedia sums it up for me just fine. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brassiere_designs The wire vs underwire will be a debate till we die. So will front vs back hookers.

Undies: Men are smart. They go for what's comfy. We, on the other hand, have comfy (briefs, bikinis, hi-cuts, boylegs) and devices of torture (thongs, g-strings, crotchless - seriously, what wear anything?) They can tie on the sides, or lace up the back, they come in a plethora of colors and sometimes they have matching bras. (and you look funny in a plaid bra and polka dot panties...)

Misc.: This is crazy territory. Spanx, ASSets, corsets and bustiers (which may be in two categories at the same time. An undies/bra combo) Smoothing tanks and padded butt enhancers. Cutlets and tape. And I'm sure there's other stuff I've never even heard or seen.

And alotta this crap is hand-washable only. Why???

And women - you know exactly what I'm talking about when I say this. You can deny it all you want but we all do it in some fashion. We have "levels" of underwear. From wear and toss because they're on their last legs (kinda like some guy's everyday undies) to "Date night" ensembles for special occasions. When was the last time you heard a man who thought he was gonna get lucky say "Oh, well I better put the special "date night" underwear on. Pshaw!

The choices can make your head spin. It would be way easier if we had all white socks, all tan panty house, all white bras and undies or all black, and were done with it! But, I guess it wouldn't be half as much fun.

Why this rant now?

1. I bought a new bra. Something called a "plunge" bra. You might assume the name is because it has a deep neckline.... but you would be wrong. It's because it pulls your boobs into something that's mythical, like a unicorn. You've heard of it but never seen it except in the Victoria's Secret catalog. They're fluffed and puffed to the point it looks like someone could dive in and swim around for ages in a pool of cleveage. You know it's a bra made by the devil when your mom sees you wearing it and exclaims "Good lord, have they always been that big?" Ladies, I've found bra nirvana and it's illegal in several states. I strongly reccomend you run out and try one of these on ASAP. Gravity be damned!

2. I had an incident with a new sundress this Saturday while taking the plunge bra for a test spin around the local grocery store. I apparently underestimated the wind and the aerodynamics of my dress. As I stepped out of Blu, the whole darn thing flipped up like I was Marilyn Monroe straddling a street grate. Before I could get the disaster under control a woman stepping out of a massive pick up truck started cracking up (I think she was laughing hard enough she may have peed a little) All I could say to her was "glad I could share my underwear with you today!" (At least they were well-covering and cute "date night" style undies) I'm hoping anyone else within viewing distance was distracted enough by the bountiful bosom they missed the rest of the show.

Moral - there is a reason why your mother always said wear nice underwear, and it wasn't just because you might get in an accident and have your jeans cut off. Oneday, you might just step outta your car and become an unwitting member of the Britney Spears-esque ranks. Oh, wait. She didn't wear any underwear.

Welcome to my world....

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I couldn't resist...

Current mood: mischievous

So....Last week in the news you may have seen that Vince "Shamwow" Shlomi (Famous for being the guy on this commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns4mnmNBk1Y) was arrested for smacking a prostitute http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

What you may not know is he's also been seen recently touting another product in a highly entertaining commercial that could explain the whole debacle. (pay close attention to 0:37 to understand my comment below) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPKtBM99kAc

Apparently she didn't so he took his own advice about getting rid of troubles....

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Weekly observations ('In the News' doesn't cut it)

Oh my lord! There's too much good stuff to share this week. I need to make more regular posts apparently. Trust me, most of these are at least worth a quick clickie-poo. Check

Mind Of Man: Now Playing—Crappy Love Songs

You must read this post for 3 reasons:

1. I can relate to the topic. Certain songs will always make me think of certain moments or people. It's like a switch that gets turned on in my head. Let's call it the soundtrack of my life.

2. This line is hilarious: "I’m amazed my testicles haven’t withered like yesterday’s birthday balloons."

3. Any man who wants to make out to "Glory Box" by Portishead is alright by me. That's a seriously sexy & seductive song. (See the playlist at the bottom of the post if you've never heard it. Cold shower may be required. You've been warned.)

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-mind-of-man-now-playing-crappy-love-songs/?obref=outbrain

Men's sock subscription service launches in US

Are you kidding me? Guys - for that much money, I will seriously go to Wal-Mart once a month and personally buy you a pack of socks. Hell, for $100 more I'll even pick you up a pack of man panties (boxers, briefs or boxer-briefs. No banana hammocks, please. I don't wanna know). I could be a sock-wife for hire! Pimping myself out to the masses for the moola.

http://www.dmnews.com/Sock-subscription-service-launches-in-US/article/129291/

Doctors Say Having Sex Is Like Getting $50,000 Raise

Let's be honest. As soon as you're born, you need money. The whole sex thing is a want, not a need. And it doesn't come into play till you're older and hopefully mature and responsible. A human could live the rest of their lives without nookie, but money is kind of a requirement. That said, am I wrong to say I'd rather have the money? Not that the other isn't nice and doesn't have it's own merits.... but $50,000 a year worth of merits?


http://www.newsnet5.com/health/18940230/detail.html?treets=nn5&tml=nn5_12pm&ts=T&tmi=nn5_12pm_1_11000203162009

When Economy Sours, Tootsie Rolls Soothe Souls

I wonder how much Tootsie paid for that free ad? Wouldn't a more unbiased headline have been "Candies Soothe Soul"? It's true though. Many women have always turned to chocolate and sweets in times of stress. Nice that the rest of the world is finally catching up!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/24/nyregion/24candy.html?_r=1&ref=business

Experts say play time can relieve stress in bad times

Think my neighbors would start talking if I go to the park down the street and played on the swingset? It does sound fun. I'm all for the board games and fun! I miss game nights... sigh

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-03-23-play-stress_N.htm?csp=DailyBriefing

Built-in Whale Tail

What the heck will they think of next? Are you kidding? They should change the jeans brand name to "Skankies."

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-ho-no-they-didnt-thong-jeans/


And since I've assault your reading and listening skills, here's a few images from the news I found fun and beautiful....

Love it! It's an ad duel!

Blackberry shoots Apple:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0a-rX5XCgk


Apple's response:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-Q6NBp8bCA

When I studied religions in college I always found Buddhism and Hinduism fascinating. Their religious have unique concepts and things like the Holi festival of color are so beautiful (and the people look so happy!): http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/03/holi_the_festival_of_colors.html

I think seeing this float by in downtown Cleveland would make me smile, and freak out just a tiny bit: http://www.daylife.com/photo/05p24LwfpW0TH