Things that creeped me out while shopping...the Asian Market edition

I love Asian Markets. Heck, I love any kind of ethnically diverse store. But they leave a lot of opportunities for items to creep me out. Here are some the hubby and I have come across in recent months.

Flava Flave's Russian brother has found a job selling mustard. I think I'll pass on the "mustard mayo spread."

 

 

Love beef and fruit roll ups? Now you can have them together in one fruit meaty snack!

 

 

Baby bologna - now with more REAL baby! (The 3 roll, in the secod pic looks like a baby Donald Trump - it puts hair on your head!)

 

 

I admit, I really wanted to pass these out for Halloween. maybe nexct year. tasty dried whole fish snacks!

 

 

Nothing says "Yum, I wanna drink you!" like the name Sac Sac!

 

The hubby holding a fruit of doom. They smell like butt, taste like kerosene and have ther texture of snot.  Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT ingest a Durian. I tried one once without warning.  One of the few things I've actually spit across a room and gagged on. YUCK!

 

 

This hardened brown sugar candy was the size of my entire hand. Take that Jawbreakers!

 

 

I admit, I wanted to liberate all these little guys. I know they're tasty, but they looks so sad in their display case. I didn't feel like getting arrested though. Poor froggers.

 

 

 

Illustration Friday - Edge

This is my submission for last week's Illustration Friday topic, Edge.

Things that creeped me out while shopping...



I'm always fascinated by the random things that catch my eye in retail stores. A shopping trip to my fave big-box retailer yesterday, was too good not to share. Here's a few things that creeped me out!

 

 

Henna I can understand, but placenta! Gee, I've always dreamt of that "I just washed by hair with afterbirth" look for my hair and now I can finally get it for the bargain price of $0.98! 

 

 

I confess, I sniffed socks at the store They still had the sticky wrapper on them, so hopefully I didn't inhale scaley bits of human toe jam. Who can resist the siren call of "Aromatherapy liners" aka - socks that might smell like old lady Avon potpourri till this first wear and wash. Who are these marketed to?  This sounds more like something you'd put in your underwear, not your shoes. And just who is going around sniffing people's feet to make scented footwear a necessity. Wash your feet and mind personal space! If someone asks to smell my foot they deserve the torment they get.

 

I think they spelled the name of these wrong. It's SATAN, not Santa. Now you too can have nightmares about your snack cakes. Send them to school with your kid so they can connect with fellow demon worshippers in a non-threatening way!  Last time I checked the jolly fat man had rosy cheeks, but didn't look like he'd been skinned. Let me guess....  you have "Star of David Brownies" for Hanukkah as well, they just happen to look more like a pentagram. Little Debbie, I'm disappointed and a bit creeped.

A very belated haunt season summary

 For the second year in a row, I worked as an actress at Forsaken Haunted House in Mentor, Ohio. It's my sanity-saving fun! This year I was also a makeup artist, and had the opportunity to represent the haunt on the Fee's Kompany morning show at Q104. Here are some photos from this year's fun and festivities.

 

 

Before the Better in Mentor Days parade

2012 Cast Photo

exploding dog butts aren't fun...

Poor Gato, our 10 month old boxer lab mix was not feeling well last night. He gave my hubby some on-the-job parental training by exploding excrementorily on the faux wood kitchen floor. He then went on his merry way and proceeded to act like nothing was wrong. So what did the hubby do?  Continued to let him play in the house.

We've all had those days where we were sick and weren't quite sure if we could trust a fart. Well, with dogs, they don't know quite what to do when that happens, so they let'r rip!

You only get lucky to have poop on a hard surface once. Next bomb went off in our carpeted living room. Now we have a stinky carpet to shampoo, a frustrated/grossed out hubby and a dog who looks miserable and sad. (but at least now he's in his crate where we can contain the epidemic.)

Let's hope a day of no solid food, lots of water and some canned plain pumpkin do the trick!

Puppy dog tails

Remember my post about the dogs? I've decided the littlest one has a plan to take over the world by destroying one crate at a time.

But he looks all sweet and innocent while doing it!

See that shiny thing in the crate? That's an 'indestructible metal crate tray he bent in half and turned into a roof.

The Girls...

Seems like only yesterday we picked up 6 sweet balls of fluff from Tractor Supply and took our first steps into the lives of urban farmers. That was March 17.

 

Here's all the cute little chicks in the temporary home...

 

Our girls all boxed up and ready for the ride home.

 

They started out living in a rubbermaid tote in the house...  getting bigger, and bigger each day. Needed to be sure they were warm, safe and full-grown before being exposed to the elements in their outdoor coop.  The house was full of cheerful chirps and a film of cedar chip dust covered pretty much everything in the room that wass their home for the first 2 - 3 months. (The kitties were far too intrigued with their cuteness and possible tastiness.)

 

 

My boss was also interested in rasising some hens, so the girls were split 3 and 3....  with 3 now happily living at her house, and 3 staying with me. Splitting them up was tough, but I knew they'd be well taken care of and loved. And I get to see them every now and then and always get updates on how they're doing.

 

But, I wanted a bit larger chicken family. When I saw an ad posted on Craig's List that someone had barred rock hens and easter eggers of a similar age to the girls that were free ranging, for only $8 each, I knew we had to add to the flock! And boy, am I glad we took a trip to this guy's house!

 

We saw a small flock of 20 or so chickens as we pulled up in the drive, and as we walked towards the back with him I casually asked how many chickens he had.  His response - "Over 1,000"!!!  Then they heard his voice and it was like the Pied Chicken Piper had played his magical instrument and they started coming out of the woodwork from everywhere.

 

 

 

He's a beekeeper and has the chickens to keep the area around the hives clean and pest free. It's the safest way to care for the lawn aroudn the hives as well. The chickens also provide eggs whech he sells to support their care.

Meeting Gertrude for the first time. She flew right up on my arm and rode around almost the entire time we were there. It was love at first site and I knew she picked us and was going home that day.

 

So, here's the entire flock:

Gertrude, my sweet zebra girl. She still likes being cuddled and enjoys riding around on a shoulder or arm.

Opal, who gave us concerns as a teen. Her waddle and comb were oversized compared to her sibilings and bright red. We were afraid she was a rooster (which is nto allowed in our city). Was so happy when she laid her first egg.

Betty White, the trouble maker of the bunch. She likes to escape from the pen and runs around delgithed with her accomplishments. She also tends to be bossy.

Beatrice, the ringleader and queen hen. She rules the roost and the other girls follow her lead. She is also very affectionate.

 

I love watching their quirky antics and am so glad we added them to our little family. We're currently working on building them a bigger and better coop, and may add one or two additonal flockmates once that project is completed. Watch for updates on that soon!

Farewell sweet Mabel...

We lost one of the girls this month.  Mabel, our easter egger, sadly became eggbound and passed away. She was not one fo the girls we hand raised, but I still loved her just as much as our other chicken kids. The other four girls are doing well. though you can tell her sister Gertrude the barred rock hen misses her a lot. They were two peas in a pod who would cuddle to sleep and walk around the yard together.

Sorry I wasn't able to help, sweet girl.