Monday, October 18, 2010

For those that don't know...

I'm 31 years old. I've been fat my entire life. In May of this year I took some drastic steps to change that for health reasons. I had Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass surgery. I have since lost over 100 lbs - and I have a lot more to go. It's amazing and I am feeling better each day - my knees and ankles no longer ache. And slowly, my hips are catching up to the no-pain zone, too.

Right now I'm struggling. I'm at a plateau, I'm better able to handle food in my little stomach pouch and hunger has returned. It's scary. I don't want to mess up what I've done so far.

So many people think the surgery is a magic fix, but it's not. It's just a tool. I still need to watch what I eat and exercise in order for it to work. It hurts me when people say I took the easy way out. It's NOT easy. I still get sick after eating the strangest things. I still have days when nothing sounds good. I still am losing my hair. I still have to take multivitamins and suppliments everyday for the rest of my life so I get enough nutrients.

Also, I'm struggling with how I look now. Yes, I'm smaller, but I look like I'm starting to melt - literally. It's not attractive. And I'm afraid to buy clothes because I'm afraid I will lose more weight and have wasted money or won't lose anymore weight and will have to go back to the fatty pants. I've bought 1 dress, 1 pair of jeans, 1 top shaper, 1 bottom shaper, 1 shirt, 1 skirt and a sweater. Evrything else is from pre-surgery weight and it's super baggy on me. It only adds to my feeling of being a melting snowman or candle.

Those that know me - thank you for the kind words and comments that I'm doing a good job. It seems lame, but they are needed sometimes. It helps to know other people see me as changing in a good way. Just know I'm struggling and have some patience with me. This will pass, I know it will.


Anonymous said...

I just stumbled onto your blog. I hope that everything is going well for you. Congratulations on losing 100 lbs, that is truly amazing.


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